Best. Cover. Ever.
This bitch is legitimately insane….I feel my skin crawl when she screams “NASTY”.
Sondra Prill is probably a creepy old woman that goes to the local Chippendales for some cocktails and sexual harassment (One would assume, in her Kathleen Turner-esque voice from years of chain smoking). She most likely wears an over sized shirt that says, “MILF” which is covered in Chili stains.
Watch the video here:
This woman might be the most clueless person on the planet. She is also damn sexy with her Linda Gray in Dallas haircut and white trash-soccer mom-suit jacket. These young jump ropers came to the good ol’ U.S of A from Vietnam via boat…..but Pirates invaded the ship and stole most of the gold they had.
The poor children had a ship full of gold?!
This woman needs a lobotomy. Although, she must be dead by now, from years of abusing prescription medication and cheap Georgi vodka martinis.
She also discusses “child abuse”, which is a little known concept. The jump ropers were hung by their wrists in the trees and beaten by family members…..but according to the host who resembles the Crypt Keeper juxtaposed with Linda Gray…..it’s O.K to spank your children, so they learn to obey.
Hung from trees and beaten= bad
I guess the family of the Jump Ropin’ fools didn’t get that memo. Thanks Jesus, I guess your fax machine was broken that day.
Cop Rock on DVD. This song states to pain of racial profiling. Cop Rock had an abundance of social commentary. This is really all I have to say about that, as the clip speaks for itself:
I have had an unhealthy obsession with the Duggar family for many years, since the 2004 special, “14 Children and Pregnant Again”. I found this particularly interesting as it was around this time that i learned when you pop out a baby, you have the chance of ripping your vagina to the point were you can create one hole….a Vaginus. 14 AND pregnant again? Odds are that this woman has a Vaginus. Also, the father is “Jim Bob Duggar”, which is too hilarious to be true. JIM BOB + DUGGAR= cousin fucker. It’s simple math.
Lets start at the beginning, as I’m getting ahead of myself.
Michelle Duggar started off on the pill. The pill is “99.9%” effective if you take it at the same time daily (making sure not to forget a day), although it isn’t always guaranteed. She got pregnant. Jim Bob and Michelle were convinced that since she got pregnant WHILE on the pill, it was gods plan for them to have a baby. If god wants you to pro-create, he will make sure it happens with or without protection.
I want to start my Duggar series by doing a quick introduction to the whole Duggar clan (yes, they all have “J” names….for Jesus? or Jew? or John Basebow?):
JIM BOB DUGGAR
JORDYN GRACE DUGGAR
OTHER DUGGAR CHARACTERS:
Since I enjoy poop humor as much as most pre-teen boys, i was obviously attracted to the Zambian street drug “Jenkem”. Jenkem is a potpourri of bodily secretions, mainly urine and feces that is fermented to perfection in the sun. One would place these excretions into a bottle, place a balloon atop and then set the object in the hot sun for a few hours-to a few days…….think sun brewed tea and/or a potent marinade, longer the better!
When the brew is ready, you simply remove the balloon (which has captured all the fermented gasses) and huff.
It supposedly gives you a high that is a mixture of cocaine euphoria and acid-like hallucinations……only with jenkem, you have shit-taste in your mouth for a few days afterward. You hallucinate (to the point where you might pass out/ think you are talking to the dead) AND have shit-breath.
Jesus fucking Christ. What ever happened to sniffing glue? At least it doesn’t make you feel like you ate a big turd-log for a few days. I want to meet the person that created this phenomenon. “Holy crap…..i love the smell of my shit….let me keep it out in the sun and make it REALLY nasty, then huff it”! Can you imagine a drug dealer standing on a street corner holding a beautiful bouquet of balloons?
I can’t say anything else that can describe the sheer humor of jenkem like this post on a recovery forum that i stumbled upon.
“I am writing this because I do not want my child to get in any trouble, but I need to alert someone to something children are doing that is potentially very dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends getting high on something called “jenkem” which they say they heard about at school. This “jenkem” is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of. They urinate and defecate in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas. I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible, putrid smell in the air. I can’t believe my son would do something like this. I looked it up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by African children that wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his friends at school have tried it.
This seems to be a new thing and I can’t find any information about the health effects of jenkem – I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high, but I don’t really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health problems. My husband and I are utterly shocked and talking about private school. We have talked to our son about this and he says he won’t do it anymore, but because it is on the Internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitic outbreak. I don’t know exactly what anyone could do about this as jenkem is legal but I really feel like this could be a gateway to worse things.
Sorry for this, but Merry Christmas to everyone, and may the light of God grace us all.”
She thinks that worse things exist? I’d prefer my kid to inject Heroin before huffing his own shit….or the shit of others. What kind of school does this little retard go to? The light of god needs to grace her sons puny brain. If I were her, I’d get a 200th trimester abortion.
I was watching Conan the other night and Gwyneth Paltrow was one of his guests. Normally i’d be half listening as her essence gives me liquid shit, however……she mentioned something quite intriguing. She has some fucking website that teaches humanity how to gwyneth-ize themselves. It’s called GOOP…..really? GOOP?
First of all….it rhymes with the racial slur for Asians (perhaps Ms. Paltrow has some aggression from nam……or maybe she got food poisoning from some spoiled Chicken Chow Mein).
Secondly, it sounds suspiciously like male secretions…..I am shocked that the domain was available, as it was most likely a shitty porn site that gives your computer Hep C upon entry. She IS Gwyneth Paltrow….she probably had the previous owner killed.
On the home page you see “GOOP: nourish the inner aspect, by Gweneth Paltrow”…..What the fuck is GOOP? What the fuck does it mean to “nourish the inner aspect”? Is she retarded? She must have swallowed too much GOOP.
The page is simple and clean: five images with a word beneath each…..make, go, get, do, be and see.
Today I’ll focus on the “MAKE” section:
I click on the quaint image of a knife and fork and enter an abyss of name dropping and shear horrors of unrelateable celebrity. Here are two examples:
Below is the preface to her favorite recipes from an Italian gentleman/ dearest friend/ fashion world cocksucker….blah blah blah…”Italian Gentleman” gives me an air of those homophobes that say…”i don’t mind fags…i just don’t want them hitting on me”…..like she is saying, he is an “Italian”……but i swear he isn’t like the others. I don’t want to use a recipe that Fashion designers use, as it’s probably garnished with prunes and Metamucil.
“One of my dearest friends in the world is an Italian gentleman by the name of Giancarlo Giametti. He is the longtime friend and partner of fashion legend Valentino Garavani, another dear friend”
She apparently has a lot of Dear Friends…..I wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy that has a leather face and more liver spots than all of the golden girls combined.
Below is what she says about massive ego-maniac-douchebag Mario Batali. He looks like he has a diet of bacon grease and Delta Burkes ass fat. He looks like he kills hookers. It might be his midlife crisis ponytail. Who knows. I do however know that he is a fat fuck that apparently has robot-xanax addicted celebrity friends like Gwyneth and Michael Stipe ala R.E.M. Both of whom look like all they digest is heroin and wheat grass.
“A couple of months ago, I had the great pleasure of being invited to Mario Batali’s house for dinner (Yes, I am a lucky motherf***er!). Emeril Lagasse was also there as a guest, so I was curious to see what the great Batali would serve to dazzle a fellow super chef.”
Jesus….she is such an asshole. Of course she was invited….Mario Batali is a starfucker with a creepy fucking face. Sitting at a table with those three dipshits sounds like purgatory. Remember when Emeril had that sitcom for two minutes? They probably couldn’t eat because they were busy sniffing each others assholes.
I wonder if this is how they did it during the 1972 crash of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 in the Andes.
When I was younger I had a REAL problem with feet. I surely had an issue with my own feet (to the point where i sometimes wore socks in our pool), but this wasn’t half as strong as my distaste for these taboo appendages on other people.
I remember when i was in 7th grade, i was told by my science teacher, Mrs. McLaughlin, that hookworms can enter your feet through the grass….if you are lucky enough to step in remnants of animal feces.
Because of this potent statement….my 13-year-old mind went completely haywire, and i was forced to wear inappropriate footwear during the summer heat. Imagine watching some jackass walking around wearing combat boots in August, essentially steam cooking all the delicious aromas and bacteria that come from those horrendous, dirty, ugly, tapeworm vestibule extremities. This, in my mind, was better than the terrible alternative….getting a hookworm as a tenant in my lower intestine.
I’m over that now……..to some degree, however……
The island of Manhattan is a breeding ground for disease, especially during the summer months. When you go down into a subway station, it can emit an odor unlike any other….it’s a potpourri of cheese, gangrene, garbage, human filth and rats. (on a sidenote- i think that glade should produce a scented candle composed of the previous scents and sell it at NYC tourist spots…..call it “subway”….people will eat that up….just saying).
Now, when i observe summer footwear, especially in a pungent subway station, i must wonder why people make certain choices.
A barefoot homeless man walks around the platform on the downtown yellow line side…..he paces back and forth with his feet firmly pressed against the dirty tile. The skin on his feet is deteriorating with patches of white and red spotting his normally black skin. It looks almost as though…..wait a minute…..this man has gangrene.
A girl walks down the steps to catch the downtown R train to prince street to shop. Wearing her brand new Marc Jacobs gladiator sandals, she feel a rush of confidence fill her body as she notices people glancing at her footwear. The soles on the shoe are quite thin, and her toes slightly hang over the toe of the shoe. Her big toe grazes the spot where the homeless man was pacing. Lucky for her, gangrene isn’t contagious, however….this stylish woman now acquired Eosinophilic Meningitis, which is a common disease transmitted to humans through rats. The usual cause is the parasite Angiostrongylus cantonensis, (the rat lungworm).
So ladies, new time you go out for a “night on the town”, always remember that when you put on your brand new pair of Manolo Blahnik peep toes, you might be going home with a foot covered in human feces and/ or pestilence.