I like to smell my farts!

“Self-hatred, self-loathing, also sometimes auto-phobia refers to an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself. The term is also used to designate a dislike or hatred of a group to which one belongs. For instance, “ethnic self-hatred” is the extreme dislike of ones ethnic group.”

My question for wikipedia,  is, “why don’t you include the ability to float through life by making people around you uncomfortable with a self-injuring comment”?  Mr. Wikipedia, i think that this so called “self- hatred, self- loathing, also sometimes auto-phobia” is what gives me the confidence to leave my house in the morning.  This is quite powerful.  I know that at least once a day, i will make at  least one person feel really uncomfortable, usually by letting out a nervous laugh as to say, “Am i laughing with you right now or should we hide your sharps”?  I don’t think i hate myself per se, i mean……i hate myself as much as i hate anything else that shits and sleeps.  I also don’t think my self esteem is worse than….i don’t know……Tina Turner hitting a flat note after Ike has been on a crack bender with a crotchless panty wearing-toothless-hairy-prostitute.

I think we need to welcome self-loathing into our lives….because frankly- humans are fucking disgusting.  You have no real reason not to feel bad about yourself.  The Hershey marks in your underpants, the way you don’t wash your hands in a public restroom, the “five second rule” you rationalize in your mind as being applicable on the dirty floor of the Q train, the way you trim your gnarly fucking toenails on a park bench and the yeast infection you have that you overlook when trying on that swimsuit in a kohls dressing room.   Congratulations on adding to the collapse of humanity.


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4 thoughts on “I like to smell my farts!

  1. Mr WordPress says:

    Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

  2. Manny says:

    It’s Wikipedia, add it yourself.

  3. Z says:

    What a douche.
    So we eat food and then it gets mushed up and gets the nutrients taken out of it… then we expel it. How is that gross? It’s called LIFE. Remember: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
    Personally, I don’t have a yeast infection or clip my yellow toenails in the park… I keep myself clean and healthy and so do most other people. Stop calling all of humanity disgusting. I think your just a neatfreak and a germaphobe.

  4. samanthrax says:

    You need to relax, maybe the yeast infection is getting to your brain. I’m always half joking. Most of humanity is disgusting. As far as toenails are concerned…..you have obviously never taken the N train in Brooklyn. I AM a neatfreak and proud of it….

    Maybe you should stop calling me a douche and use one.

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