Butthash

Since I enjoy poop humor as much as most pre-teen boys, i was obviously attracted to the Zambian street drug “Jenkem”.  Jenkem is a jenkembottlepotpourri of bodily secretions, mainly urine and feces that is fermented to perfection in the sun. One would place these excretions into a bottle, place a balloon atop and then set the object in the hot sun for a few hours-to a few days…….think sun brewed tea and/or a potent marinade, longer the better!

When the brew is ready, you simply remove the balloon (which has captured all the fermented gasses) and huff.

It supposedly gives you a high that is a mixture of cocaine euphoria and acid-like hallucinations……only with jenkem, you have shit-taste in your mouth for a few days afterward.  You hallucinate (to the point where you might pass out/ think you are talking to the dead) AND have shit-breath.

Jesus fucking Christ.  What ever happened to sniffing glue? At least it doesn’t make you feel like you ate a big turd-log for a few days.  I want to meet the person that created this phenomenon. “Holy crap…..i love the smell of my shit….let me keep it out in the sun and make it REALLY nasty, then huff it”!  Can you imagine a drug dealer standing on a street corner holding a beautiful bouquet of balloons?

boy-girl-balloons

I can’t say anything else that can describe the sheer humor of jenkem like this post on a recovery forum that i stumbled upon.

“I am writing this because I do not want my child to get in any trouble, but I need to alert someone to something children are doing that is potentially very dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends getting high on something called “jenkem” which they say they heard about at school. This “jenkem” is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of. They urinate and defecate in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas. I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible, putrid smell in the air. I can’t believe my son would do something like this. I looked it up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by African children that wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his friends at school have tried it.

This seems to be a new thing and I can’t find any information about the health effects of jenkem – I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high, but I don’t really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health problems. My husband and I are utterly shocked and talking about private school. We have talked to our son about this and he says he won’t do it anymore, but because it is on the Internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitic outbreak. I don’t know exactly what anyone could do about this as jenkem is legal but I really feel like this could be a gateway to worse things.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Steinberg

Sorry for this, but Merry Christmas to everyone, and may the light of God grace us all.”

She thinks that worse things exist?  I’d prefer my kid to inject Heroin before huffing his own shit….or the shit of others. What kind of school does this little retard go to? The light of god needs to grace her sons puny brain. If I were her, I’d get a 200th trimester abortion.

jenkem

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3 thoughts on “Butthash

  1. Manny says:

    Kid’s will do anything to get high. Leave ’em be. In a few years they’ll be embarrassed as fuck. If not, then they’re a sorry sack a losers that probably dont have much human interaction anyway. Probably because of the permanent smell of shit that surrounds them.

  2. Sean says:

    you seem squeamish over this, yet have failed to consider that this is the most economically sound high of all time. getting high on free shit is the best high there is, pun intended.

    a worse thing would be paying to huff someone elses peepoopgas.

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