- A crocheted penis that literally serves no purpose. Put that shit on the table as a centerpiece during the holidays! What a conversation starter! Part of the description states:” funky purple details”. Even a fake penis shouldn’t have that description.
- An “Adult Baby” crib. NOTHING, and i mean NOTHING scares me more than adult babies. Grown men and women taking dumps in diapers, talking baby talk, sucking on a pacifier, wearing a onesie….gives me the willies.
- A vintage douche/enema. Because it’s fun to guess where this ended up through the years? Because they really knew how to make them in the 40s? Don’t forget to blow the dust off.
- A taxidermy “unicorn”. When i was little, i never associated petting zoo animals with the wondrous unicorn. Unicorns now remind me of steamy piles of shit and those weird smelling food pellets that cost 50 cents.
- A cat stroller. “Maybe our neighbors won’t realize that it’s our cat. Why can’t i have a real baby? At least now i can pretend!” Not only would you look like a total lunatic, your cat will hate you and hopefully claw you so deeply that you need stitches. This is just as bad as a grown woman pushing a stroller with a plastic baby doll or a jarred fetus.
Cop Rock on DVD. This song states to pain of racial profiling. Cop Rock had an abundance of social commentary. This is really all I have to say about that, as the clip speaks for itself: