Weird shit you can buy.

  • A crocheted penis that literally serves no purpose. Put that shit on the table as a centerpiece during the holidays!  What a conversation starter!  Part of the description states:” funky purple details”. Even a fake penis shouldn’t have that description.


  • An “Adult Baby” crib.  NOTHING, and i mean NOTHING scares me more than adult babies.  Grown men and women taking dumps in diapers, talking baby talk, sucking on a pacifier, wearing a onesie….gives me the willies.


  • A vintage douche/enema.  Because it’s fun to guess where this ended up through the years?  Because they really knew how to make them in the 40s? Don’t forget to blow the dust off.


  • A taxidermy “unicorn”.  When i was little, i never associated petting zoo animals with the wondrous unicorn.   Unicorns now remind me of steamy piles of shit and those weird smelling food pellets that cost 50 cents.


  • A cat stroller.  “Maybe our neighbors won’t realize that it’s our cat.  Why can’t i have a real baby?  At least now i can pretend!”  Not only would you look like a total lunatic, your cat will hate you and hopefully claw you so deeply that you need stitches.  This is just as bad as a grown woman pushing a stroller with a plastic baby doll or a jarred fetus.


Cop Rock on DVD. This song states to pain of racial profiling.  Cop Rock had an abundance of social commentary. This is really all I have to say about that, as the clip speaks for itself:

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2 thoughts on “Weird shit you can buy.

  1. Manny says:

    Practical applications:

    crocheted penis = key chain
    An “Adult Baby” crib = fun roleplay prop
    A vintage douche/enema = the design hasn’t changed much. still works doesn’t it?
    A taxidermy “unicorn” = freak out kids
    A cat stroller = fun to watch roll down a hill
    Cop Rock on DVD = I have no clue… I threw away my hills dvds…there is no practical application for processed crap. that’s just a waste. utter waste.

  2. The benefit of the cat stroller is that it allows me to safely launch the helpless cat over the edge to the bottom of the limestone quarry 800 feet below.

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