Tag Archives: dicks

“wool makes my penis itchy”

Penis Sweater:

Just in case your dick has to go outside to chop wood or shovel a driveway, you can buy a sweater for it!  Oh wait?  Is this a novelty item?  This is the kind of shit you buy as a “joke gift” then it ends up being stored in some drawer somewhere.  One day, when in the process of moving or looking for something- you will stumble upon it with a mother, girlfriend, exterminator…whatever, who will never look at you the same and not quite believe this was a funny “joke” gift afterall.  You vagina.

shlong sweater

For cold winter nights.

Reusable maxipads that look like watermellons:

What is more disgusting than being a woman at that time of the month?  In no way is this a time of my life when i say to myself “Boy, i feel like a woman!  A woman who has weird shit coming out of her vagina”.  Seriously?  I mean, yes sure…..it is a part of life that is beautiful and shit, but It really really sucks.  I wish it were socially acceptable to banish myself from society until my body decides to behave again.  Having said all that, the weird stuff that comes out of ladies is not something that I want to be reminded of.  I want to flush it or burn it or piss on it then burn it, whatever…..but I don’t want to wash it with my other clothes and find that I have hardened blood clots on my favorite henley.

Bacteria Collection Chamber.

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